Johnny B. Punctual

Hello people,

Did you get the title, it’s like that Chuck Berry song, or the phrase. What is it? Johnny late fella or something. Hah right. Hack attack!!!

Anyway, I’m going to tell you a story about a creature who is always on time. He’s a friend of mine. And works the occasional job because he can’t get one with any proper routine. Why? Well I think they say he’s a little soft in his head, but believe me, his head is plenty solid and firm, and good at stuff. Anyway, with these shifts he always shows up a couple hours early and just waits around until go time. He sits in his car like a champion waiter. Just about every week he will do this.

That’s me you say.

Ah you got me. I guess. I forgot I already told you that I didn’t have any friends and about me being Mr serious worker. I am Mr B. Punctual, but there are reasons.

I have to be on time, every time, all the time. Early even. It’s because people tolerate me. They are looking for any reason to hate this player of the games. Because I can suck petrol fumes otherwise. If I am not elevating my level to above average, then it is better to just get an average dude off the street who may be interesting.

What you wait for hours, what do you do?

What do you think? Eat. And write things like this blog post. Who says I don’t know how to manage my time proper? Oh, you say that. Alright.

What should I be doing instead then Mr genius blog viewer critic man/woman/other/sentient animal/computer program?

Instead of writing garbage like this why don’t I try some editing?

Ah………………………………………?.!, ‘!!!

Should I stop wasting all these hours and show up when everyone is ready to party? Probably, but if I do that I’m gonna have to deprive you of posts like these.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

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Watching ‘John Wick 2’

Hello people,

John Wick is back. Well he’s been back for a while, but the film just came out in my country so guess what, its time to watch this thing. Cause the first one was bad ass and I got nothin better to do.

If you dont like action then don’t watch this movie. 

This movie is all about the action sequences which are the set pieces of the thing. There are only four major action sequences with everything else being build up and world building, but once they start up they are hypnotizing. Choreography, music, scenery, humour, brutality it is just a succession of the coolest things that a person can hopes to see in an action movie.

The acting is like what you may see in a soap opera, people will pause for dramatic effect, do dramatic turns, talk while someone is walking away, shout for no reason, speak in every language on instinct. The dialogue is intense, even melodramatic. But these are things that only matter to critical jerks, not bad asses like me and my buddy John Wick. I enjoyed just about all of it.

John Wick is the man, throughout this whole movie nobody can mess with this guy. He just rushes into people and its:

Head shot, head shot, blam blam, blam blam blam. Head shot. Uchi mata, armlock, head shot.

What great stuff. Once again if you dont like action you will not like this movie. If you want things to be more realistic and gritty, this is not the movie for it, this is about ultraviolence and style. John Wick is probably the most focused and brutal killing machine in any movie I have ever seen. Every movement is thought out and intended to end some shcmucks life.

Does all this killing get old?

Not for me, but I am sure it will for some.

The logic in this movie is so weird and cool. Everyone knows who John Wick is from bankers to the homeless, yet people forget that they shouldn’t mess with him. This world is full of assassins but John Wick is the only one who can get anything done. 

The hierarchy and rules of this world are cool. More things are introduced in this film and set up for future films and they all look like things are going to get even more action packed and intense. As a man who loves intensity and super action I am raring to go. If they start introducing lots of lovely ladies too I think I may just watch John Wick movies on a continuous rotation and forget about anything else.

This was a fun movie and a super fun time. I hope they keep making these movies.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.  

Week Leak (May 2017 #3)

Hello people,

Here are the main points.

Have I been applying to jobs? Yes.

Has anyone reached me back? No.

Still blogging? Sure.

So I managed to do it. This week I got through an entire security shift without talking to anyone.

Sure people asked me questions and generally noticed my presence, but as far as me needing to form an actual sentence, there was no need for that. None of that garbage talking stuff for me. Someone needed a toilet, I’d point. I pointed for just about anything I was asked, either that or shake my head. The whole shift went like that with me either pointing or shaking my head.

I think the bar staff and other security guys must have noticed, but fuck them. They had their usual after work shindig, which I can only asume involves drinks, stories, dancing and whole lot of casual hugs and kisses. I wasnt invited of course.

Much like most people I come across, they don’t like me.

Why? Isn’t it obvious, just look at this mug, I’ve seen garbage bags with more integrity. But I suppose there are other reasons too.

I figure it probably feels good to know where you stand. To be able to look at someone and say, hey, I’m here and you’re there, and you know what? I’m better then you. And so are all my friends here. None of us care about you. Which is fair I suppose, if a little easy and cheap. It’s something that we all do.

But what do I know? I probably wasn’t invited because they figured I would just make it awkward and I looked ready to leave anyway. So I went off into the night and had an early morning kebab to ease away the loneliness.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Time for sleep

Hello people,

Do you have trouble sleeping? Because I sure as heck do.

Why? Why does anyone have trouble sleeping? Why isn’t it the easiest thing in the world to just close your eyes and wake up when your alarm tells you to?

I don’t got any answers, go to your doctors for those. I just want to add to the great discussion about how much it sucks. It sucks bad. I hate being tired and I’d love have the classic 8 hrs everyday, but my body won’t cooperate. I just lay there with my eyes closed with absolutely nothing happening. I try counting sheep, heart beats, reading, or just thinking of nothing at all. None of it works.

My body needs replacing because it is literally working against me. This is biological mutiny and it happens every fucking day. I could be peeing blood with a back popping like bubble wrap, but things like that just make it harder. My inferior biology will not even try and help itself.

Its been like this for years. My body gets 4 or so hours a day until some point in the week it will hibernate for 12 hours if not more. I will know this is coming the day before because my knees, wrists and back will all be useless apendages. I will need to keep a bottle of water handy or things get pretty painful in the morning. It isnt a good way to sleep, but its the only one I got. At least until I can go to sleep like a normal person. Maybe I do need to see a doctor.

I’m like Rip Van Winkle

Good luck sleeping guys, and remember, if you have any trouble try reading some of these blogs that will get you going. If not maybe it will help to know that right now I am writing this crummy thing instead of sleeping myself. Better then laying down trying to will myself to sleep, but not by much.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything. 

Watching ‘Alien Covenant’

Hello people,

Another trip to the movies this week. Whats up with that?

I got sick of watching things on my laptop so I figured a little fresh air would be good, and another Alien movie is as good a reason as any.

This film is a sequel to Prometheus, and a prequel to all of the Sigourney Weaver ones. Because of what happens in this movie it has to be assumed that the AVP movies either happen in an alternate dimension or something else is happening like time travel, which may not be relevant to this movie at all. 

Do you need to watch all these movies? The only movie you should probably watch is Prometheus because it is brought up and certain character matters are relevant. I would recommend Alien (1979) and Aliens (1986) because they are great movies and you will notice asthetics and references from those movies.

All in all this was a reasonably good movie. Fans of Ridley Scott will enjoy the pacing and the build up to what happens. There are some good visual things, mostly relating to the space jockeys, and less so with the space ship, but I am sure that this will not have the flair of either the first Alien or Prometheus for most. 

People who are not fans of Ridley Scott, or the Alien movies, shouldn’t watch this movie. This may be one of the weaker films in the series depending on what you are looking for. There are slow patches, silly characters, missed opportunities, sporadic sequences, questionable twists and a final portion that critical people will tear to shreds. 

But if you are like me and have little taste and can enjoy just about anything then go for this one.

The character that I liked the most was David, Michael Fassbender, he is the only one to return from Prometheus and in the movie he is given the most interesting things to do. He is the character that can be analysed the most.  

The Aliens in this movie are scary, there are several types and I wouldn’t want to mess with any of them. They aren’t scary in the way the old ones were. with measured  reveal shots to expose the xenomorph in some contorted position in the background before it mauls some pitiful space man. There are some shots like that in this, but there are alot more of these things sprinting and  brutalising people like sheep.

To get the things to move the way they do CGI was a necessity, so people who are irritated by that may need to beware. People in suits could not move the way these things have to, well maybe I could, but they wouldn’t hire me. The catering budget wouldn’t allow it.

With character stuff, they make reference to free climbing missions that were significant for something that I must not have been paying attention to. So it may be worth it to you if you pay attention to that. Also I can’t remember if they ever had xenomorph’s pov before but in this film there is alien vision which was a little weird.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Quiet work

Hello people,

I work almost every night, which doesn’t help in the social fun arean. Maybe that explains a little of the mess you see here. Most activities take place at night, daytime is for working. That’s not good for me, because I’m a desperate stooge. The only work I can get is at night where I need to be everyday just to make ends meet. That’s what I do almost every night.

So what do I do during the day?

Most days I’m busy sleeping.

So what?

I miss doing stuff at night. Most pastimes are targetted for the average person, with the average schedule, so when I come along with my rogue itinerary nobody can cater to scum like me. Here are some of the things that I miss out on being in the segment I am stuck to:

  • MMA/ Gym
  • Writing groups
  • Family stuff
  • Make Friends
  • And probably more.

These are things that I keep telling myself I would do, but I don’t know. Maybe I would try some of them and give up soon after. I remember really liking jiu jitsu and would like to take some more classes, but that is easy to say. How many people are walking around with dusty gym memberships? Sometimes imagining is better. It’s like saying that you would make a good boyfriend if the pretty lady would just give up and let it happen, maybe it wouldn’t go as well as you hope. Besides I am already pretty sure that I am a weak fella and I’d just give up on most things because of my sore knees.

I guess there are people like me wandering around aimlessly in stark daylight. They are probably the people I see shopping in the middle of the afternoon, getting in the way of people on break, parents, retirees and sick people. People with nothing better to do apparently. Maybe I should try becoming friends with some of them. Nah, probably not. I don’t think they will like me any better then anyone else.

I figure getting a job would free up my nights so I could start doing some of the things that I want to. Truth is I would just start complaining about a new batch of problems. I still wouldn’t have any friends, or six pack abs, or a throng of ladies to keep happy. I would just have money, lots and lots of money.

Till then I guess I can just go on imagining what it would be like have my nights free for fun things.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Watching ‘Guardians of the Galaxy 2’

Hello people, 

Ow boy more movie trips for this guy, you people better watch when you are going about your outside things with your families because you might just see this blubbery guy going to the movies at 10 in the morning, by himself,  without having slept at all. 

Yeah, I don’t know how good an opinion of this movie I can give. For most of it I was sucking in lollies to keep the lights going.

Normally I don’t eat much, I try not to make too much noise for the other patrons seeing as I am already alone in some corner of the place. I just want to get through the movie. That wasnt a problem with this thing because it seemed like every 10 minutes or so the soundtrack would start blasting some retro song and I could eat as much and as loudly as I wanted to. I’ll remind you it was necessary for me to stay awake.

I don’t know if they are trying to sell the album but it became clear everytime it happened and I couldn’t not think about it. It was good for me cause I got to eat, and the music was pretty good, but it was noticeable.

Apart from the sleepiness I do remember some things. Mostly it is just colours, space and explosions, with noises and a whole bunch of fun chaos. Do I remember all of the acting, dialogue or plot nuances? No, but if you want all that just go watch the movie. 

To put it simply, it was good fun, similar enough to the first that if you are a fan of that you will probably enjoy this one.

The first movie was a pretty high bar to go against. I think that out of all the Marvel superhero movies the first Guardians, along with Deadpool, was the most fun, and as a Dan Abnett fan the Guardians of the Galaxy are always good.

This movie was not as good as the first, just because it is so comparable. Epic things like the NOVA corp, Thanos, Planet destroying weapons and such were missing and were replaced by things that were perhaps not as grand or fresh. Humour was still pretty good in parts, but the main proponent of it was Batista (Drax) which may require preparation for those not prepared. 

The Ego character, Kurt Russell, is cool and can be examined by those inclined, but I didn’t properly understand some things about his goals and methods from the movie, but I am sure that further watchings may clear things up.  

What happened to Ego’s Spaceship? It was cool and it just disappeared.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything. 

Week Leak (May 2017 #2)

Hello people,

Another week in the books. Another week to try and keep doing stuff. Hooray.

Now for the important stuff.

Have I been applying to jobs? Yep.

Have they gotten back? No.

Am I still blogging? Apparently.

Busy week around the house. Which is code for one days work doing all of the chores that were built up over the last few months.

I had to clean the carpets and mow the lawn. Simple enough for the average man, but there were problems. The motor in our mower hasn’t been used in more then 2 years now.

If you know anything about motor stuff, which I don’t, ¬†having the thing sit around for years can be scary and a wrong foot can spell the end of our little grass slaying, blade twirling little buddy.

I had to drain the petrol and replace it, check the oil, and hope nothing had come loose or weathered away during storage. This was a tentative half hour, but I got the thing going with a bunch spurting and smoking.

In the same day I had to go to the local market and hope I could get hold of a carpet cleaning machine. I don’t know if it’s the same near you but most places don’t even want to look at the machines these days. I end up having to go from one place to the next hoping they still carry the things, and then I got to hope they haven’t already been taken by other scum bags like myself.

That’s stuff I got to do before the actual work of using those things.

But why don’t I just hire a company with all your money from this blog?

That’s funny. Are you serious? It’s like a million dollars for those services and this blog has only made me like 80% of that. And besides I need that money for research materials. And drugs, which are also research materials. And food, which is none of your business.

Anyway, alone, and with extra servings of toughness I got through the chores. Gangs of insects tried to stop me as I mowed, but I would not be stopped. The carpet juice came up black and even that did not stop me, not until the water was just slightly brown.

So that was my weekend, one hatcheted lawn and wet carpet later I can look forward to the new week. Hopefully the chores can wait around for a few months.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

To do list?

Hello people,

Lets make a plan. Thats what smart people do right?

But I’m not smart you say. 

Wow.

You jerks. I let you in close and this is what you do me. You think I won’t find you, because I won’t, but that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t, maybe I’ll look in some hole someday and spot your degenerate butt sucking on limestones. 

Anyway, this isn’t about you. It’s about me. Sorry. This is about organisation.

In case it hasn’t been coming through prior to now I’ll tell you very bluntly, as of now I am langusihing in mediocrity. Not getting better on a day to day basis in anything. That’s where the plan will come in.

What will a plan do, is it like magic or something?

No, at least I don’t think so, but you know what is magic; consistency. The strange thing that cultivates progression, improvement and respect amongst the ladies (I think).

So where is this plan then?

Well here are some of the things, why not all, meh:

  • Write at least a blog post a week
  • Read for an hour a day
  • Excercise for at least 45 minutes a day
  • Apply for 10 jobs a week
  • Save a couple of dollars a week
  • Be happier, or not

There are other more specific goals that I have, but I won’t bore you with those. Things like number of push ups, sit ups, squats per day, other writing things like short stories and comic stuff, but who wants to look at a bunch of silly things like that. The point is trying to be consistent.

Who knows maybe you should start doing more planning stuff as well? No. Okay. Alright, relax. Forget I said anything alright.

So lets see what happens, I’ll follow the plan and we’ll see. Maybe this is the start of good things. I have a few posts built up so you can look forward to those.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything. 

 Word up

Hello people,

Does this thing have a point? Not yet. I started doing ths hoping that something would catch. Maybe I could be funny or something, but it hasn’t been working. I don’t feel up to much. I haven’t been doing much editing of my older blogs and when I read them they just look like the kinds of things you would find of soup cans or something.

So what’s the deals? 

Words yo. I’m getting those words on the page, the web page that is ha (desperate/panicked laughter), just slamming them down like a whole bag of marbles or something. Uh, no thinking, just from the hip, and right there on the table. Bang. 

Lotta words? Whatup?

I think some smart guy said you have to keep writing until you run out of bad words and start writing some good ones. If they didn’t, then I just said it. If they said it better, then good for them. Point is, these are my bad words spewing forth from my blog.

But how can I do this? How can I care so little? 

Wow that’s a lot of questions buddy, but I get what you’re saying. If I keep throwing out words like this eventually I’ll just have a big pile of junk that nobody wants to look at. Like my own personal sewage plant. Yeah you are probably right, but you are forgetting one crucial thing, I don’t have any friends, and a man without any friends is a man without any standards. So I’d be happy to see my sewage pile grow in the hopes that someone stumbles upon it someday just to be driven to insanity because monsters like me exist in the world. 

Going forward I’m probably going to try editing more stuff, but who knows, it could be I won’t edit anything. Like I said I don’t really care, and I may also be a little lazy when it comes to this blog. But yeah, hopefully this thing will start getting better, but in the meantime, here are a bunch of words which may or may not be put into an order that makes sense, either way you are welcome. Whoops, I meant to say I am sorry. Sorry.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.