Everything’s infested

Hello people,

Who hangs out in their room a lot?

Not you. You’re too busy hanging out with friends and doing things other then laying down and watching movies. Well Whooop de doo for you. I guess you aren’t going to get the point of this post in that case. Maybe it only applies to people like me but here goes anyway.

Have you ever picked up a book and noticed something. 

“Boy I don’t remember leaving all this dust here, and hang on a second, what are all these little insects?” You say to yourself.

That’s the funk my friend, the infestation, your reward for living the life of an amoeba. Congratulations on that.

And those little pinprick insects are called mites.

What kind of mites?

???

Dust mites, book lice, cockroach babies, does it really matter, they are everywhere. Pick up a book and you will see at least 10 or so wandering around and doing whatever. these things aren’t around to hang out either, they are badass little jerks whose sole mission on earth is to eat up everything you’ve ever loved and saved. Which if you are a hoarder like me is everything that matters to you.

Now its rotten and defiled by little douchebag creatures. I wish I could imagine these things as friends with all the right ideas. They like hanging out, they like my stuff, they like the ladies apparently. Heck we could be buds if it wasn’t for the fact these little ingrates are eating up all my stuff. Chewing it up and making babies all over the top of it.

I think there is mould somewhere but I have so much stuff I can’t find it. I pulled up a few mouldy books that were getting some fuzz on em. I chucked them in the freezer because I think that is what you are supposed to do, but I’m probably just contaminating that now.

The infestation goes further then that. Have you seen Creepshow, I feel like Stephen King in the ‘It Grows on You’ segment. Something has happened and the funk is slowly taking over everything around me. I see centipedes in the carpet, hear mice in the walls, and can taste those little mites jumping all over my dinner plate. Soon it’ll be me in my room covered in mould and dirt with worms squirming in my sheets. 

I love my books, I love my room. But if tiny little invaders have stepped into my home to take them I guess that is how it goes. Oh well. Maybe once all my things have been consumed I can start over again, but then I can just wait for it all to happen again. The funk is always coming for people like me. 

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything. 

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Watching ‘Spider-man Homecoming’

Hello people,

If there is one kind of flick that I can’t really avoid it is comic book movies from the big two.

There are enough of these out that this rap about whether this was any good won’t really matter to you. It will depend on whether you have finally gotten sick of superhero movie after supermovie, all coming in the same year, and still coming year after year. Your tolerance for these kinds of films may supercede any kind of quality the film may have. Like a dejected super sinic ready to take up full blown cinematic nihilhism. You may be on a plane beyond, far away from the entertainment this kind of movie can give.

But maybe you aren’t so far gone, maybe another iteration of Spider-man seems exciting. But only if it is good enough. For you on the threshold I am happy to say that this new movie was pretty good.

This was a fun, funny cool movie. Does it bring new things to the table? Sure, there is a new suit, but the biggest is probably the connection to the other Marvel movies, which is pretty significant. It is not overwhelming, but plot and character stuff is pretty well connected. There are thematic differences which are heightened by changing the age of Spiderm-man to a high schooler as well as a rookie superhero in a world full of well known professionals.

Is it enough?

 If you hated the Amazing Spider-man 2, I can tell you that this is not the same movie. There is no spy stuff, no ghosts, or melodrama or sap. Not that I would have minded them, I liked that film. This reboot isn’t for people like me, I love these movies and Spider-man in all his forms. I can say that it didn’t really feel the same as any of the other movies and a big part of that is humour.

There was a lot of humour in it, so much so that it is probably more of a comedy than anything else. There are only a few scenes that aren’t comedic. I think the comedic parts work very well, but the straight scenes, particularily an intense scene between Spider-man and the Vulture, work just as well. 

Tom Holland as Spider-man was good, as was Michael Keaton as the Vulture, and the movie is good enough that I think people who are tired of Spider-man movies as well superhero movies should enjoy the thing. But whatever, watch it if you want, or I don’t know, go to the park or something.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Watching ‘All Eyez on me’

Hello people.

I liked this movie.

I am a big Tupac Shakur fan, All Eyes On Me may be one of my favourite  albums period. But is this film directed at people like me?

First off this is a biography, which means going by biography rules. Dramatic telling of a person’s life story, but within that the thing is still a story. As such the film makers have to figure what they are trying to do. This flick they go a few ways, the major one is race issues. Makes sense, Tupac’s parents were Black Panthers and Tupac/rappers in genral are rather polarising when it comes to race and community stuff. It was enjoyable, but I am not focused on those things. I think people who are probably like nuance or specific interpretations so they may think the moral message in the film may be ham fisted. I don’t care, because like I have said, I am a tick just sucking up whatever kinds of juice I can get.

As big a fan as I am of Tupac I didn’t really research or know much of his life prior to this movie, I loved the music, but that was it. I had a vague awareness of the big moments in his life, but the movie tells you the story and as far as that goes there were never patches that I didn’t find entertaining, my attention wad kept the whole thing through. But how accurate was the film? Beats me. Through this movie they show a Tupac character as being sympathetic, clever and at times whimsical, but there are other moments where you would have to say the man was close to being a lunatic with acts like beating up his driver, and shooting at the police. 

The stories of him getting into fights, shooting at the police and laying smackdowns on his own driver seem really brutal, aside from that though he is also represented as a political figure for his community. The film presents the black community as being very paranoid and unhappy with society, but the evil white man isn’t really shown, there is a suspect judge and evil seeming correction officers, but even then arguably the worse officer is also black. I don’t know if this is some kind of symbolic thing, but there are things for people to analyse if they have social interests.

I watched the film with my younger brother and he had seen a lot of the real footage, interviews and court hearings which were reference of him a good deal in this film. He said they were fairly accurate, but for Tupac officianadoes I am sure they will find plenty to pick apart. If nothing else this movie gave me a good interest to look into those clips.

There have been a few of these rapper biography movies, Straight Out of Compton, Notorious, 8 mile, the fictional Hustle and Flow to name a few. A lot of them go over the same kinds of themes, race, pride, poverty, revenge, sexy ladies, people holding them down, stealing, using, success and failure. These things are never done the same way, but I doubt many people would enjoy watching them one after the other. Still on their own they can be enjoyed a good deal. I liked All Eyes On Me.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Week Leak (June 2017 #2)

Hello people,

Here are the questions.

Been applying to jobs? A few.

Any response? Not yet.

Still blogging? A little, but I’m slowing down.

I guess I’ve been drawing a few too many things because the tip of my stylus ended up breaking off this Wednesday so I took a little break. Don’t worry I got a new one. Besides that one thing that happened there is another issue that I noticed with this short break.

This is about the 35th post in the last few months which isn’t too bad, but there is a small problem. These things don’t feel like they are coming out right, and maybe it’s a little early to say but they don’t feel like they are getting much better either. 

This slowness doesn’t mean I’m stopping, but, I’m going to try a few other things as well. Stories and whatever, maybe longer form and more connected comics. I want to keep going, but I also want to get better. I think there is something of a style to the comics but I may tweak them here or there just to see what I like.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Watching ‘The Mummy’

Hello people,

Another movie trip this week. This time I watched another monster movie, which if you read or looked above was the film The Mummy. Starring Tom Cruise.

I liked this film, but that goes without saying. I like just about all movies. But what matters is whether or not I think you like this movie. Uhh… I think you can, if you want to, but it may be tough.

What are the good things about this movie?

The mommy is creepy at times, especially at the beginning and menacing when it needs to be. There are also a deal of underlings that the mummy can spawn using its powers which are also cool in how they move. 

I liked a lot of the Egyptian mythology stuff, which includes the god Set and an underground tomb/prison set in Iraq. Action pieces were also good, especially in the beggining with the warzone and the aeroplane stuff.

The things that I see being troublesome with this movie is the ambition. Some of the shots and sequences aren’t worked on as carefully as they could have been. Some make up effects, character stuff, special effects related and a plot line about Cruise’s connection to the Mummy. The quality of a lot of things shift through the movie where one second they will be very good to the next where there are noticeable differences. The ending portion is a clear indication of this. Things happen in quick succession and alot of interesting ideas are devoured by their execution.

This film sets up what the studio has titled the Dark Universe. What does this mean? Well there are easter eggs that point to the old black and white universal monster movies. The universal monster movies are great and the idea that they will be bringing them back is cool, but watching this movie it seems pretty clear that they aren’t making the same kinds of movies. People who love flicks like Creature from the Black Lagoon or The Wolfman, probably won’t like this movie, at least not for the same reasons.

In total, I am looking forward to more Dark Universe movies, but I think I’m in the segment of people who can enjoy have lower standards. Any monster movies coming down the pike get me pretty excited so a film where the Mummy goes up against Dracula, oooh boy. I remember when Frankenstein, the wolf man and Dracula got into it with those greats Abbott and Costello. 

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Week Leak (July #1 2017)

Hello people,

Here are the questions:

Been applying to jobs? Yep.

Any response? Nope.

Still blogging? Still going.

Guess who did good work this week.

Thats right me, at least that’s what they told me. I’ve always had the feeling the only reason I have never been told off is that everyone is sort of scared of me. The only reason they keep me around is because they need a specific number of guards and if nothing else I am dependable.

In the security industry I am kind of what is reffered to as a body.  A static animated corpse who gets to stand in the corner and grunt at people, but things seem to have been changing these past few weeks.

People have been becoming more and more wild and reckless. Intoxication and drink flowing through the streets is getting lapped up by all the animals of the night. The bar I work at has been beset by chaos. And I need to stay vigiliant, or terrified, whichever of the two I have had to keep my eye on every single one of them because at any moment things can kick off and go wrong. For the past few weeks a lot of them have and I’ve been the one in the corner of the bar. So it was my job to seperate who needs seperating and kick who needs kicking. Which isn’t too hard considering I am fat enough and nice enough. There were about five incidents over two weeks that happened right in front of me. Each time I had to get one or both parties out of the place just to stop their death stares at one another.

So the head guard at the club slapped me on the shoulder.

“I’m going to tell you something, you’ve been getting a lot better.”

I nodded my head, confused because someone was talking to me.

“When you first started you were scared and wouldn’t talk to anyone. You’ve been stopping fights, joking with people and doing good work.”

I was sure he wasn’t talking about me, I hadn’t been talking to anyone, not more then I needed to. But I was too busy looking at cars drive by to see if he was laughing at me.

“I’m going to tell the boss and I tell you what I’m going to tell him to increase your pay.” he said.

I was sure he was joking about that part, but the rest seemed genuine enough. I thanked him, said I would keep trying and went back inside.

My pay hasn’t gone up, but I did get a call from my boss.

“A got a message saying you did a good job yesterday.” 

I tried to respond with a ‘cool’ or something but it just came out as a jumbled up mess of mumbles. 

“Keep it up.” he said before hanging up.

So I guess thats how it goes, you getter better at something without even noticing. Maybe I am even better at this blog, neither certainly feels true, but who knows, I guess that’t just a lot more pressure to not go backwards.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything. 

Watching ‘Wonder Woman’

Hello people, 

I watched the new DC comics movie this week, you know, the one about that lady superhero. Ugh, what was her name? Not Supergirl, or Powerwoman, not Black Canary. Not Bat woman, or Batgirl, and it wasn’t Huntress or Star Sapphire, or even Starfire. She was like Greek or something.

Wonder Woman, that was it.

I watched the Wonder Woman movie this week, and it was a really good flick.

Wonder Woman is almost always great, whether she is in her own comics, the Justice League comics or even the cartoons, but I guess people were nervous about this movie. I liked the new DC movies (the ones starting with Man of Steel) but I can understand why people may not have, they are instantly comparable to the Marvel movies and the older DC one’s and are not on that level.

This movie was very good and was lots of fun. It isn’t overly complex, and won’t require viewing too many other movies. A basic understanding of Greek Mythology and World War I may be beneficial, but whatever. This movie can stand on its own. You don’t even need to watch the DC movies or read the comics if that sounds like a horrible time so thats good for you guys.

What’s good about this movie?

The action is exciting, lots of bright gunfire and special effects for people who like their superhero movies to be superheroey. Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) is great to look at, which is reiterated by almost every character in the movie and there are conflicts of morality and fish out of water humour sprinkled into the works.

The thing is set right at the end of the first world war and there is some period piece stuff, not as much as in Captain America, but it was still cool. It is also set on the Paradise Island (Themyscira) and that was a fun part of the movie.

There is some hooplah about lady stuff in this movie, but I don’t look into any of that, if gender issues are big for you then you should probably look deeper into this before watching it. I don’t think anything happens at the expense of the ladies that isn’t justified, but I also don’t know what to tell you that won’t end with you hating me. So you may want to look into it more. Plus I’ve seen too many kung fu movies to get excited seeing another action movie starring a lady who beats the crap out of everyone.

I’m so past the point of caring or thinking about movies that I would be happy with just about anything on the screen. Cardboard boxes could be bashing into each other and I’d be all over that movie. But for softer and  cooler people there are also a lot of significant emotional beats. You will notice when they happening because they are all pretty big events. As such enjoyment may also depend on how gooey your innies are.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

In The Way Jones

Hello people,

Get ready player, exciting news here, this is where it is happening, this is the blog, where it all goes and doesn’t stop to take any breaks. If you aren’t buckled in boyo it’s aready too late for you.

Yeah right, you say. Stop wasting your time.

Relax fella I’ll get to the goodness you’ve come to know and tolerate. Unless you’ve gone already. Uh. Ok, the main part of this week’s blog is to introduce you all to a new character of mine, a little man who goes by the name of ‘In The Way Jones’. Get ready, get amped, this one is sure to be hit.

Heck you might know him already because this fella is an evergreen property, an every man. You might know a hundred like him just wandering aimlessly through city streets and staring at bits of newfangled technology. Maybe you’ve been at a restaurant and noticed that the waiter is nowhere to be seen. Maybe you’ve looked over and seen that some troglodyte is sitting there staring at a menu and repeating the phrases:

“Um…”, “uh…”, “well…”, “this, wait no…”, or  “what’s good?”

While a stupefied waiter looks on in terror as the drool and spittle amasses at their  feet and seeps into their stockings. Tears will bubble out of their eyes, as their minds try to hold onto sanity.

If you’ve seen someone like this you may chanced a glimpse into ‘In The Way Jones’ or one of his many minions.

You are in the Way Jones, aren’t you?

Yes. You are right once again buddy, there is no pulling wool over your eyes, you would just see through any of that stuff with the perfectly formed pearls where your eyes should be.

I am the man every comedian talks about when they justify neutering the majority of the species. Someone whose only purpose seems to be to get in the Way and muck up the works. 

Maybe it’d be easier to go with it. I wish I could. Be righteous about the mess I leave in my wake, the one that people can only look at before smacking themselves in the face until their minds can make sense of it, or their eyes fall out so they don’t have to look at that kind of filth anymore. I wish I could laugh at their stupid, desperate faces as I just sit there in the middle of the intersection of our paths.

But I can’t I help getting in peoples way. It seems like it is the only thing I am any good at. I am pretty sure I ain’t any good at this hopeless blog. But I am good enough at throwing glue all over everything I can do it without even trying. I think that’s why I spend so much time in my room. I just want to avoid that look people get when they have to look at me.

It even happens at work with people I have known for years. I will just be sitting there with my lunch, probably a sack of dirty noddles, and someone else will step into the breakroom and just stare at me. There is only one table, because the company is managed by the kind of people who think thats funny. After a couple minutes of getting stared at I realised what the deal was. My noodles were all kinds of stinky and this person was giving me the look that I had gotten just about everyday of my life. She was asking the universe why I had to be there. I took my noddles and left, leaving her and the table alone.

People know what to do in every situation, I don’t know what to do in any. That’s why I stand there in everyone’s way. I’m just trying to figure out what everyone’s doing, I’m trying to figure out how they are doing it, and, I guess that there is a small selfish part of me that hopes that while I stand still, the whole world will stop around me, maybe let me catch up. Only it never stops, and ‘In The Way Jones’ just falls further and further behind until he becomes a statue, or a spatial anomaly around which the temporality of time is warped and twisted.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

Week Leak (June 2017 #4)

Hello people,

Here are the questions:

Have I been applying to jobs? Yessum.

Any response? Nope.

Still blogging? Absolutely. 

How have you been? 

Okay, I’ve gotten over the sickness from last week, but there was something that happened. One of my teeth has a hole in it.

How long has it been there? I don’t know, but I figure it didn’t get there over night. The thing was covered with either a membrane of tooth or calcium which broke off this week.

What does this mean?

I need to go to the dentist, which I hope to get to some time next week. I need to go and wait around and then give that mug thousands of dollars to either pull the thing out or fill her full of junk, or sawdust or whatever they do these days.

How does this happen?

Too much soda. I want to say bad luck, but there are too many factors that made this happen. The last time I went to the dentist they told me I just naturally have soft mushy teeth which would chip away with even the slightest bit of pressure. Hooray. They told me I need to be careful and play it safe. But did I listen to their threats, no, because I don’t do nothing nobody tells me because this outlaw goes renegade for life. 

So I am left to the same fate as most pirates, a mouth full of no teeth and a belly full of soda.

You don’t brush your teeth, that’s the problem.

I brush my teeth just fine, a couple times a week or whatever, and I floss every other month. Yeah maybe I had this coming. Still, that’s hindsight and you don’t use that around me okay.

Well I suppose losing all my teeth won’t be so bad. I’m not in any pain right now and when they’re gone I can have all the smoothies and sodas that I want. I can’t lose the same teeth twice. So there won’t be that hanging over me. And who needs teeth nowadays, not with 3D printers and megapixel cameras, and I don’t need any teeth to keep on blogging.

Thanks for reading and good luck with everything.

For your satisfaction

Hello people,

Do you ever think you are getting too old? I think that it just happens one day, some youngster we saw in the mirror becomes ruined by a strange angle or phonto. Terrible, but it isn’t just the loss of my chiseled figure that scare me, I think I have just lost understanding of a basic word.

What does the word satisfaction mean?

Maybe it says something about what a fat thing I am but the only thing that I think of satisfyying is eating. Maybe the ocassional book or movie, and then there are the deplorable acts that I get up to when I am alone in my bedroom.

I figured it had something to do with having one’s expectations met, mixed with a kind of enjoyment threshold that needs to be reached. A dog walk needs to be really good, or overcome something to be elevated from simply good to satisfying. That’s what the Rolling Stones song was about right, they were saying Satisfaction or something. Is satisfaction just feeling good. Sure a quick google search would fix this, but I’m so old I don’t even know what that is. What?

The satisfaction videos I watch on Youtube seem to think everything is satisfying. They include watching people bake, colorful liquids diffusing into one another, dominos falling, cute animals, honeycomb stuff, extreme sports, and whatever else they can fit into 5 seconds intervals. 

I don’t get it. I like the videos, these things are cool to look at and some of the imagery is pleasant. But why do they need to claim that you should be satisfied by watching them, and so what if I look at them and think ‘that’s kind of cool.’ am I a monster or have I just been satisfied without realising it. Name them feel good, or pleasant videos, that is what they are.  

If I bake a cake that may be satisfying, but only because I get to eat it, or give it to a pretty lady. But I don’t bake and I am never satisfied (and I try, and I try).

I’m sure some young person would better explain what has happened, and where my cloistered existence has failed to understand basic things. Good for them, good for everyone. Stay satisfied, just don’t come for me to try and tell me you don’t know what happiness is when you can get satisfaction at the drop of a hat.

I guess I’ll leave it there. Maybe I’ll ask you a question. Are you satisfied? Was this blog satisfying? Could I ever satisfy whatever kind of creature you are? Have I lost touch with reality, lost sense of the meaning of words? Is this blog just an incoherent jumble of words, was it ever anything else? Am I slowly creeping closer to being the bald sausage everyone thought I’d be? What happened?

These are the question. Answer them now. 

Thanks for reading.